Grief & mindfulness.

Last Updated: March 12, 2021 in Uncategorized

Out of darkness, comes the light. Crafting for grief management and mindfulness.

Discovering my love of candles

I had always loved candles and making the home smell nice so, I was intrigued about how they were made. Then I discovered another world. And so, Sara Jane Candles was born! The name for my little business seemed so perfect.

Thinking back, I wanted to do something that I could work on, get my mind focused on and really enjoy. After some time, I started doing some home crafting and bought myself a soy candle kit; I wanted to make a teacup candle with my Mum’s china.

The day my life changed forever

My world was turned upside down one day and never to be the same again. My parents and I had to say goodbye to our beloved and beautiful Sarah on September 5th 1992. Their first born and my sister, taken so cruelly at just 20 years of age. She suffered a very sudden and severe asthma attack. I was just 15.

After this life-altering event, life just seemed to go by so quickly. I obviously was affected, but I don’t think I could bear that pain to surface. So, I just carried on and worked hard. Keeping busy gave me solace and I quietly dealt with my grief. My worst nightmare then happened when my lovely Mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer, sadly passing away in 2011. My Dad just 3 months later. Work was still my biggest and best distraction at the time, I did things that I could easily get lost in. For a time, I seemed to be coping.

Changing paths

In 2016, I was fortunate to be able to make the decision to take a step back from my role as a store manager. This led me to start to re-evaluate what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Then that is when I hit a brick wall. All the years of running a store, working long hours, was obviously just to mask the cracks I was trying to fill. 

Everyone has their own unique way of dealing with grief, to some it can also leave some detrimental effects on our bodies. My Mum’s cancer was diagnosed as “probably something that was caused by a traumatic experience”. I was told I was going through an early menopause at 36. My osteopath believes that this was probably due to the loss of Sarah, and then my parents at a young age and that this was the aftermath of my body going through the trauma.

Using mindfulness to deal with grief

Using mindfulness and crafting my candles is now a way to cope with my grief. This was not intentional or as a way to diminish the pain associated with a loss, but rather to acknowledge the pain and to face it head on, instead of running from it. They say that It usually takes more energy to avoid grief than to let ourselves experience it. 

Thank you for reading a part of my brand story. It has been a long time coming and has taken a great deal of strength and bravery to speak openly about it on such a public platform. 

Best wishes,

Debbie X

If you are looking for something creative to do, I will be incorporating some more crafting kits on my website. You will find these alongside the existing Aroma Pendants.

Here are some other local brands that I love who’s crafts are mindful:

@lauraprudencecalligraphy

@flowerwrapandgrow

@tawnyflowershed

@sketchbookbybethany

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